Val is a life + event + business architect. She leads group workshops in person and online but her real passion is one on one coaching for creative types.
Every day people ask “How are you?” And, for the most part, we simple human creatures grit our teeth, smile, and answer “Great!” And we aren’t. “I’m great!” (but really I overslept my alarm, have 20 things to accomplish for the day and only time for 10, my hair is less than stellar today, I forgot to call my grandma back, I need an americano like yesterday, and if I get behind one more slow driver my head might explode) But I’m just great! Thanks!
Try this one on: An old friend you haven’t seen in a super-long time calls you to say she’s in town for the weekend and would ADORE YOU if you have time for a cup of coffee. You tell her you would looooove to and “text me when you’re free!” knowing full well you have a packed weekend and no intention of meeting up with her. Also, you are 90% sure she will never text you.
Or: You have been named the lead on the next big project at your office and you are JAZZED to finally take the helm. You get your team together and dole out tasks and duties, never once asking for their input (duh, you’re the LEAD). The team doesn’t get their work to you on time to complete the gig for the big boss man and there you are at 11pm the night before the presentation cranking out the missing pieces and cursing your co-workers (I mean, why should they get to go home to their families and friends when they didn’t do what you, their fabulous leader, assigned to them!)
What you’re doing here, is what you’re doing everywhere. You see, when you aren’t real and vulnerable, when you don’t say what you need, and when you aren’t playing a big game, you are the only one who loses. When you give a blanket answer, you spend your entire life covering up the details. When you over-promise and under-deliver to your friend, guess where else you do that? Every. Where. And when you lead by force and then pick up everyone’s slack, you lose the biggest game of all – leading others by example, accountability, and being a stand for greatness. And that one shows up all over the place.
Realization is only the first step here, friends. #2 is to freakin’ do something about it. Recognize it, call it out by name, let it know it’s no longer welcome in your juicy temple of goodness, and see what happens when you live a full and powerful life. Awesome-amazingness ensues. Life-freeing and spirit-altering occurs. And, guess what? It happens everywhere.
What is it that you do right here that happens everywhere? How are you holding back on yourself and the incredible people around you?